The Broken Shackles

The girl was always a fast learner. Once someone showed me how to do something, it sank and I would do it even better than they anticipated. The only thing I couldn't quite master, at least to my mama,was taking a bath. She would line us-my brothers and I-up and wash all the sins from our bodies amid quarreling but tenderly. If she wasn’t available, the house help-Jane-would fit in her shoes. We all dreaded Jane. When it was her turn we would all scamper to safety,come up with hilarious excuses or even feign sickness or injury. The maize cob bath, we termed it. Once she got hold of you, she’d scrub you like her life depended on it with a maize cob. We’d cry but a stare from her exorcised the crying demon in you. To avoid torturous baths, I had to learn fast how to properly wash myself. With time my mum’s confidence in my bathing skills grew but like any African mum, she’d pop by to supervise me.

1 Peter 5:8

…’He prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour’…

On this fateful day, mama granted me the honors of bathing on my own as she handled kitchen affairs. I was in class two or three thereabout. I was happy as I could get time to do what I loved-fart in the basin so as to create fart bubbles. That is where and when it all started. In an attempt to clean my lady parts, I felt a sensation that I liked. All along I had never realized such a sensation existed when someone else was bathing me. It was the start of a battle I never thought would end. The devil had found fresh meat to munch on.

In school and at home, I was the epitome of beauty, character and brains. I was the apple of my parents’ eyes...don’t know why it just has to be apples anyway…I was the pride of the home. My cup was overflowing with awards and sweet words ranging from my teachers, neighbors,relatives etc. They never saw the heavy burden I carried. This act was weighing me down. I was all smiles physically but my spirit/soul was wailing and weeping for help. At the time (primary school) I didn’t know the act I was engaging in was termed masturbation but I knew deep down what I was doing was wrong.

In most old African family settings, parents are parents and kids are kids. Our parents toil to give us the comforts of life and expect excellent character and school performance in return. Setting time to talk or engage your child so as to know them better is seen as a white man’s behavior. In my case how could a brilliant child have masturbating issues? Where would I even start the conversation? My perfect reputation was at stake here. Growing up,my parents were well known to be disciplinarians, so the chances of the demons being beaten out of me were quite high. Who wanted a tongue lash or a beating? This fear of my parents made me zip it. My silence was the devil’s win!

One thing with the devil is, he will put a veil on you so that you find comfort in sinning. All this time it never crossed my mind to ask God for help. Mark you I was a church goer, front pew member…the demonic blind was real. Another card the devil pulled was to put so much guilt within me such that I felt God wont’t listen to me let alone understand. It was ‘too complicated’ for God to grasp. I had forgotten that Jesus had been tempted too and He was in a better position to help me(Hebrews 2:18). I recall using my grandpa’s name to rebuke the devil just because he was a strong pastor…haha, the foolishness portion Satan had put me on was immense and super concentrated. I tried to battle the devil on my own terms.

Hosea 4:6

.‘my people perish for lack of knowledge’…

Isaiah 60:22

…’when the time is right,I the Lord will make it happen’…

One afternoon after engaging in the act, I just broke down. I could hear the devil laughing in my head saying how much I couldn’t get out of this. It was the arrogance in the laughter that God used to snap me back to life. Feeling defeated I cried to the Holy Spirit and at that very instance I felt a burden had been lifted. I felt light. The chains had been broken!! Satan had been kicked in the butt and thrown out. The urge to engage in masturbation left just as suddenly as it had come. Praise be to the Lord of hosts now and forever more.

Luke 11:24

…when an unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest;and finding none, he saith, I will return unto my house whence I came out’…

The battle had been won and Satan wasn’t happy about my new found freedom. I backslid few times but God never gave up on me. Each time my hate for masturbation multiplied until I totally stopped. Just like a baby is weaned off breast milk, God was little by little weaning me off this sinful act. It’s been roughly 5 years since God set me free after being chained for 11 years by the devil.

I can never pay God back for this miracle. Every time I think of this I just break down because He lives, He sees, He hears, He acts. As a reader of this article, I don’t know what you are battling but hang in there and cry to the Lord until He does something. Pray pray pray! Bow that knee! Read the bible. Take time and study it. As God fights your battles, do your part and feed your spirit/soul. Put on the full armor of God.

2 Chronicles 15

…The battle is not yours but the battle is the Lord’s- …

After healing the guy possesed with demons (Legion), Jesus instructed him to go home and tell his friends what the Lord had done for him and how much mercy the Lord had on him- Mark 5:19-20. Just like this man, I refuse to keep this to myself and my few pals. Initially I was skeptical of writing down this testimony but the Lord wanted it written and shared so that someone somewhere may have hope that help is on the way.

Help is on the way. God bless you all and may He come to your rescue. AMEN!